2 Years Ago I Shaved My Head

2 Years ago I shaved my head. Yes, 2 years ago. It’s unbelievable to me.

I lived the first 21 years of my life sporting chest length hair (with the exception of the side shave I shaved myself in January 2017). I had always loved my long hair, and still do (hence the reason I’m growing it out). While in my early 20s, visions of shaving my head started to twirl through my thoughts, and I finally decided on July 31st, 2018 that if there was going to be a time to do it, it was now. I was starting my senior year of college, meaning  by the time I needed to start looking for jobs I wouldn’t be completely bald, and I needed a change. I had only bleached my hair twice in my life, but I will say that after many years of dying my hair over its natural color and sun/heat exposure, it wasn’t looking the hottest it could. I decided on August 1st, 2018 to shave my head. It has been a crazy 2 years since then, and I thought I would take you and I on a photo journey of my 730 day hair growth.

July 31st 2018

Last day with an (almost full head of hair). I was genuinely scared shitless. I have never had shorter hair than shoulder length when I was 10. But, I figured, if I never take the leap now, I never will, or I’ll forever be left wondering “What if I had?”

August 1st 2018

And boy am I glad I did it. Wow. Look at them. Are you kidding? Any nervousness I had dissipated the second the first strand hit the floor. (No going back now right?) During the first full shave month, I can definitely say I turned some heads, and I felt amazing. Physically, daily life is a lot easier when you don’t have hair. Emotionally, I felt a little exposed at first, but after a while I grew to absolutely love how I looked.

September 1st 2018

I was feeling SUPER cute this month. I actually think this is one of my favorite months. I definitely wasn’t completely bald anymore, but I was at a cute length that I still didn’t have to style. I experimented with my gender presentation, and hats, and generally had a good time. When your hair is super short, it’s really easy to see the growth basically happen right before your eyes.

October 1st, 2018

October and 1 whole inch of hair brought the fun of being able to spike my hair in the front. I was still fairly happy at this stage, definitely struggled with the fact that when I had long hair I felt a lot more comfy dressing more androgynously, and I for sure over “feminized” myself for the first 2 months. This month I think I started to let go of the qualms I had in my head about this a little more..

November 1st, 2018

November was when I realized.. Oh… having no hair makes your head cold. I still felt pretty cute this month, introducing hair products like waxes and pomades to control the longer back and spike the front at the advice of my brother.

December 1st, 2018

I will be 100% honest here: I felt so fucking ugly this month. When all of your hair is like a little shorter than 2 inches off your head, it creates a very awkward style of “too long in the back and sides, but not long enough on the top.” It was depressing me in ways I cannot express. My general rules for this journey were: don’t cut your hair, and don’t dye or bleach it.


January 1st 2019

I – uh – did not abide by those rules, for good reason. I decided that I was going to keep the back and sides trimmed for my comfort, but the rule for no major chops still stood. I hated this haircut at first- it was my first time ever going to a barbershop and I was so intimidated that I didn’t say much, but after a week of it growing in and growing on me I fell in love with how I looked.

February 1st 2019

I *claps* felt *claps* so *claps* goddamn *claps* cute *claps* in *claps* February. Sigh. This is like the hair length I would keep if I actually liked having short hair. So cute, so easy to manage, huge fan of this shorter undercut, 3 inches of hair lewk.

March 1st 2019

This is where we got to the point where every other month was a new challenge/awkward phase to rediscover how to do my hair. At this point, the hair on top was a little too long to manage with pomades, but couldn’t just be left alone. It was a struggle.

April 1st 2019

And just like that, a month and .66 inches of hair later, I felt so much better. So strange. I reshaved my undercut (the third haircut since I shaved it), and my hair was long enough to swoop back. I loved this look.

May 1st 2019

Annnnnnd we’re back to ugly. This is the last blunt undercut I did, right before graduation, and I definitely shouldn’t have because it did create a bit of a problem for growing out to a bob later. Again, the top hair was a bit too long to manage, but we got through it.

June 1st 2019

Okay I’ll be honest, this is literally the best hair day I had in June. I started relying heavily on the dreaded straightener to give me any semblance of sanity. My hair is naturally curly, and that was just not working at this phase with just a clump of unruly curls on top and no hair from my mid head down.

July 1st, 2019

I was IN LOVE with this month. My undercut was growing out, the top was really just doing some good things, and I think the two just worked really well together. I was super uncomfy with my body at this point of my life, unrelated to my hair, so every time that my hair would hit an awkward point it would just make it so much worse, so I’m glad July blessed me with this look.

August 1st, 2019

And with that, year 1 was over! This was another awkward month, still heavily relying on the straightener to keep me sane, but I couldn’t believe how far I had come. Looking at this a year later I cannot imagine being at this length anymore. In one year, the hair I did not cut reached a little over 8 inches.

September 1st, 2019

So in September, I started playing around with putting up parts of it, because I was again having to grow out the sides and back and the fact that it all wouldn’t just do or go one place was… infuriating to say the least. 

October 1st, 2019

This picture was taken on the day where I remember thinking “I think I can wear my hair curly and down from now on”… and I was kinda right. At the time I was like “I have a bob” and in hindsight I’m like “okay pal”. 

November 1st, 2019

Enter the next awkward phase- I truthfully had no idea what I would wake up to everyday of this month. I mostly stuck to straightening the top and gelling back the sides as best as I could, but I also would let it just do whatever. My biggest issues for a while (and still honestly) is that my sideburns are just simultaneously too short to be put up but too long to keep down.

December 1st, 2019

Rejoiced in an even longer “bob”- felt like Rapzunel from Tangled after she gets her hair chopped off. Big fan at the time, wouldn’t do it again. I will disclaim- I loved having super short hair, and super long hair, it’s honestly August 2019-March 2020 lengths that deter me from ever shaving my head again.

January 1st, 2020

January looks the same as December because the straightening of my hair really does extend the length by a good inch or so. I was definitely starting to get more comfy with my hair here. It got to a point where I could just kind of wake up and let it do whatever and that’s all I ever want tbh.

February 1st, 2020

February marks the 5th and final (to date) haircut during my 2 year grow out journey! I was starting to get increasingly annoyed with the difference in length, so I got the back evened out with the front (which has still never been cut). In case any one is wondering why this is the case- all of your hair grows at the same pace but it just looks longer on certain parts of your head. Like, the hair framing my face took the longest to grow because it needs extra length to fall over my face and not just hang straight down like it does in the back and on the sides. I was very happy this month.

March 1st, 2020

We are really starting to get somewhere! To be honest, once we reached March, the only growth was just down because all of my hair is even, so the growth was a bit less visible, but the next goal in sight became finally getting all of my hair into a full ponytail. I was a fan of this month, I started to feel more and more of myself.

April 1st, 2020

I attempted to stray further and further from using any heat on my hair because part of the reason I shaved it to began with was to grow nice and healthy hair. Seeing my curls, now with a bit of weight, was really satisfying. Ponytails/just trying to put up my hair during these months was annoying admittedly.

May 1st, 2020

Speaking of putting my hair up, I wanted to show that I mostly could by May. With the help of bobby pins and hairspray, I would rock a pony/updo for most of May. During quarantine is a great time to go through some awkward phases with a hair grow out, I will say.

June 1st, 2020

In June, this became one of my favorite hairstyles, along with using a bandana as a headband, because my biggest gripe was not being able to put up my hair to just get it out of my face. I grew tired of having to make ponytails a full day look like in May, and wanted alternatives to be able to just throw my hair up or out of my face if I wanted, and these were good solutions.

July 1st, 2020

I really started falling in love with my hair again. I’ve never had any of these hair lengths in my teenaged or adult life, but we’re getting to a point now where it’s the closest I’ve been to “long hair” in 2 years. My hair is long enough that when I move my head it brushes my shoulders, and I never thought I would rejoice that much at something so simple.

August 1st, 2020

So, that brings us to today. Wow. I told myself I couldn’t severely cut or dye my hair for the first 2 years of this journey, so on my 2 year anniversary, I used Overtone to color it purple. I cannot believe how long its grown and how crazy this journey has been. It was full of ups and downs, but I’m so glad I made the decision to do it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I definitely am excited to be getting back to where I feel most like myself

On to year 3!!.

Secondhand Thrift Haul: Summer Picks

As a Bostonian, I am extremely lucky to be near The Garment District- a department store notable for its wide selection of vintage products. For a thrift lover like me, it’s an absolute dream come true to visit the giant two-floor shop and browse for unique, vintage finds. According to The Garment District website, they pride themselves on being a “green business.” Not only are they doing a great thing by reselling wonderful vintage clothing, which helps prevent the buildup of clothes in landfills, they also send unusable clothes to “shoddy mills” so that they can be repurposed into other textiles.

Now, I don’t have tons of free money to throw around, so if I am going to buy clothes, it’s going to be something I keep for years and utilize as an essential clothing item. I’m really in love with everything I bought, and I’m looking forward to getting a good use out of everything! The only thing I didn’t actually buy myself was the pink top, as my roommate actually bought it at The Garment District with me, but then decided she didn’t like it.

“Grateful I’m Not Dead” T-Shirt | $16


Speaking of my roommate, it was actually her who spotted this Grateful Dead t-shirt for me on the tye dye rack. Erin, if you’re reading this, you have no idea how happy this made me! I absolutely adore the Grateful Dead, and I was pleasantly surprised to find a vintage t-shirt in such great condition. I also like that the shirt is an XL, because I definitely prefer to wear t-shirts that are a bit loose on me. Nathaniel is also super excited about the shirt, so I’ll definitely be sharing it with him. 

Wide-Leg Jeans | $15 | Ann Taylor

please ignore my messy room

I’ve wanted to buy bell-bottom jeans (or something similar) for a while now, so I was pretty excited to find the perfect pair in my size. Being a curvy girl, I prefer jeans that are high-waisted and flattering for my figure, and these jeans make me look absolutely fabulous. They also make my legs look ten miles long, particularly when paired with my favorite pair of wedges. I can always justify buying a good pair of vintage jeans, and for fifteen dollars, I’d be silly not to get them. 

Shorts | $15 | Bugle Boy Company


I’ve never owned a pair of baggy shorts, and I have to say, I love them way more than my tight-fitting ones. Sure, they make my ass look like a blob, but they’re very comfortable and functional for the humid summertime ahead. Particularly since I’m going to Maine to visit my mom in about a week, I figured it would be convenient to buy a pair of durable, comfortable shorts to wear on hikes and kayaking adventures. As you can see, I have paired it with my new favorite Grateful Dead tye dye shirt, and I think it looks so groovy and cute. 

Belt | $12 | Lucky Brand 

I haven’t owned a belt since middle school, and it’s not often you find a Lucky Brand item for so cheap, so I figured this would also be a practical, reasonable purchase. For a while, I was pretty much only wearing yoga pants and pajama bottoms (that quarantine life,) but I decided this week it was probably high time I buy some real pants and a real belt to go with them.



Like I said, this was actually a top that Erin bought, but she decided she didn’t like it after she realized it had sleeves. I have to say, the sleeves are actually my favorite part. I think the cut and the material combined with the sleeves give this top a real 70s vibe, which matches the rest of the clothes I bought perfectly. I also think the color is beautiful, as I love wearing pinks and other soft, pastel colors throughout the spring and summer. I’m not sure how much Erin paid for the top, but I’m going to guess it was between $10-15. I also just peaked at the LOVESAM website, and it looks like everything in stock is between $150-200. Not a bad steal! 

Dress | $20 | Modcloth


Lastly but certainly not least, I fell in love with this Modcloth brand dress in the contemporary dresses department. I adore anything quirky and floral, so of course I could immediately picture myself in this lovely little number. I also really like the color scheme of garish greens and yellows, because it reminds me of the Beach Boys Pet Sounds album. This will be another great outfit to bring to Maine next week, because the cotton material is light, airy, and perfect for traveling. Similarly to my flare jeans, this dress also looks really cute with the wedges.

Overall, I would say this was a successful, productive shopping trip. On top of that, I am happy to be supporting such a progressive, green company through my clothing purchases. If you are ever in the Boston area, I highly recommend visiting the Cambridge location of The Garment District! 

The Lesbian Tomboy Sidekick™

Ah…. the early 2000s tween television shows. Some of the more popular in my day (I’m 23, born in 1997 for your reference) being Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide, Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, Lizzie McGuire, The Suite Life, and of course, iCarly. These shows captured our 10 year old hearts with seemingly random comedy, eccentric characters and interesting living environments. All of these shows have a very specific cast of characters that make them successful- a general perfect formula of 3 lead teen characters. This group of three was always led by an extroverted idea-sparking leader of the group, the generally intelligent but hopelessly socially awkward boy, and my personal favorite- the edgy tomboy girl sidekick. All together this creates a fantastic chemistry that forged the many amazingly successful trios of my childhood.

The one thing that always bothered 10 year old me though, is that nine times out of ten, two people of these groups almost always ended up dating at some point in the series. Ned and Moze, Lilly and Oliver, Justin and Harper, Lizzie and Gordo, Cody and Bailey, and… Freddie with both Carly and Sam (scandalous!). Even though I didn’t exactly know about the concept of human sexuality as a kid, it gnawed at the back of my head that there was something unnaturally fabricated about these pairings.

As I got older and wiser, something dawned on me. The edgy tomboy gay girl sidekicks were always that ones forced into these random relationships. Oh no- I said what I said, you read that right. In a world of YouTube highlight clips and Disney+ resurrecting my childhood favs, I’ve had time to reflect. There was absolutely no way these iconic sidekick characters were not even a little bit on the queer spectrum. Obviously, as “family friendly” shows, these characters could not be blatantly portrayed as such in the early 2000s, but come on. The character traits, personalities and aesthetics alone basically wrote in gay characters without saying they were gay. (I am very aware that just presenting stereotypically gay or acting a certain way does not make you a lesbian, what makes you a lesbian is liking women. Just go with me here).

Disclaimers: 1. I’m going to focus on 3 characters for this article because if I included all of them in one you’d be reading a novel honey. 2. These are all my personal opinions and these characters are just that- characters. Just my comedic interpretation, proceed. 🙂

MOZE from Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide

Let’s kick off with a classic- Moze from Ned’s Declassified. Starting off with simply her name- “Moze”’s real name is Jennifer Mosely. First, the fact that she goes by not only a nickname or her last name, but a nickname of her last name… suspicious. Second, I have never in my life met a Jennifer who was not gay (sorry to the “straight” Jennifers out there, your time will come). Being the perpetually taller of the group by a landslide, Moze expressed her incredible 2000s fashion sense à la LBH (long haired butch): long, straight, brown hair that she never did anything to and consistently androgynous outfits of jeans, t-shirts, headbands, and sweaters. She has an effortless talent for a variety of sports (volleyball, cross-country and cheerleading) and an undying passion for woodshop. She has a distinct hatred for a one Ms. Susie Crabgrass for seemingly no reason, (internalized homophobia rerouted into anger as not to admit feelings to herself or Susie), and crushes on men who are “too unattainable” i.e. Seth, the basketball jock, and Faymen, the foreign exchange student (unconscious ability to deny ever dating someone because of social differences). She eventually ends up dating Ned, her best friend of many years and inferior in every way imaginable, I believe out of comfort and convenience.

P.S., the next major role the actor who played Moze played was Paige McCullers in Pretty Little Liars, who is…. a closeted lesbian who expresses her feelings for her love interest by hating her instead… interesting. 

Post-Show Life Diagnosis: Jennifer Ann Mosely is an athletic LBH who realizes she is a lesbian midway through her college years, when a girl on her D-1 volleyball team makes a move on her. She stays closeted to her high school friends until she and that same girl send out invites to their hand-crafted rustic wedding in Napa Valley. You can bet that she did in fact build the archway her and her wife say their vows under in her fully equipped woodshop in their cottage outside San Francisco.

LILLY from Hannah Montana

She’s got the best of both worlds… or does she? Lilly Truscott of Hannah Montana is the quirky, funny, ultimate tomboy of the group. Growing up in California her entire life, she is an avid skateboarder, surfer, hockey player and cheerleader. For the vast majority of the seasons of Hannah Montana, Lilly solely wears polo shirts over long sleeved striped shirts, baggy cargo pants, and sneakers, with the addition of accessories like every hat in the world, random braids or streaks of color in her hair, and those fuzzy sports wristbands??? on the daily. She has an alter ego for when she goes out with Hannah known as Lola Luftnagle, who is the polar opposite to Lilly in personality and looks. Lola wears bright short wigs, generally very bright, girly outfits and obnoxious accessories. I believe Lola acts as a foil to show Lilly’s perception of who she thinks she should be. She constantly fights Miley’s advances to make her “girly” which would make her “more attractive to the boys,” which Lilly goes along with because of peer pressure. She does love fashion; her outfits transform as the series goes on and she is always attempting to raid Hannah’s closet.

She exudes a general confidence outwardly while feeling very insecure about her pitfalls in private with her best friend. This gives her an external swagger and an internal anxiousness. She does have quite a few crushes throughout the series, but never one that sticks. By the end of the series, she is dating her best childhood guy friend, Oliver. I believe it’s the same circumstance as it is with Moze, easing into a relationship because of a comfortability with a mediocre guy she has a few common interests with and has known for years without having to confront her true feelings. She also has a huge enemy in one Joanie Plumbo, whose head she shaves as the punishment for losing a bet in gym class. (Beginning to see a theme here?) 

Post-Show Life Diagnosis: Lilly Truscott is a classic in-the-closet tomboy lesbian who ends the series of Hannah Montana living in a dorm with her best friend Miley and eventually realizes she is ridiculously in love with her. She will keep it inside for decades, graduating college and end up marrying Oliver. She will have two kids with him before finally serendipitously reuniting with Joanie Plumbo in a bar at the age of 40, and after discovering her lost long love for her, she will ask Oliver for an open relationship. Eventually, she leaves Oliver for Joanie. She gains custody of the kids, as he is a huge stoner who has not been able to land a job in years, and she is a lesbian, and her and Joanie live a happy life together. 

 SAM from iCarly

And finally- iCarly. Oh boy I have wanted to talk about this for years. Ms. Sam Puckett is the most iconic non-lesbian lesbian I have ever had the pleasure of coming across in my entire life. From the most gender neutral first name to a last name that’s one letter away from sounding like an expletive, she is a legend. She constantly refuses feminine presenting stereotypes of “looking girly” and “acting dainty”. Although I didn’t identify with Sam’s general chaotic evil ways as a kid, I did find myself intrigued and inspired by her non-feminine characteristics. She’s superhumanly strong, always taking the opportunity to prove her physical strength and wrestling abilities. She takes absolutely no shit from anyone, especially men. Although, I will admit, more sardonic than sarcastic at times, her humor is whiplike and poignant, verging on the edge of as sexual as you can get in a “kid’s” show. She dresses exactly like Lilly Truscott minus the wristbands (were the Nickelodeon and Disney producers trying to tell us something via the wardrobe choices of the 2000s tween sitcom girls? Conspiracy theory). She has bangs which you can bet she cuts herself, she wears little to no makeup, her favorite activity in the world is consuming more food than humanly possible in one sitting. She consistently bags on her guy friends more than she ever does to Carly. She is eternally full of rage- again I believe from a crazy repressed case of internalized homophobia. Repressing who you are for that long takes its toll on your mood and behavior, leading me to believe there is some trauma there that she needs to unpack and might explain her tendency to act out.

The cherry on top is her relationship with Freddie. Her and her ultimate frenemy Freddie are more enemies than friends for the vast majority of the show. Sam is not shy about how much she cannot stand him, and how upset she is by how outwardly he adores Carly. A couple seasons in, she and Freddie share their mutual first kiss to “get it over with”. I watched this back recently because the video was on my YouTube recommended feed, and this is what rejuvenated my thoughts about Ms. Puckett in the first place. If you haven’t watched it, please, click this link right now.

Absolutely the cringiest thing I’ve ever rewatched. She never closes her eyes, never leans in, looks around and looks like she would rather be literally anywhere else in the world. I burst out laughing when I saw it again. Both of them looked understandably confused. Freddie just experienced his first moment of intimacy with someone who continually berates him, which blurs the lines of love and hate, and Sam has just figured out she is a lesbian. She continues on in the series to have a short flame of a relationship with Freddie, again I believe for the same reasons as Moze and Lilly. Familiarity, safety, confusion. In this case though, I do believe Freddie deserves better and Sam deserves a woman. 

Post-Show Life Diagnosis: Sam moves to L.A. after high school, like she does in Sam and Cat, the spinoff series of iCarly’s Sam and Victorious’s Cat, where she embraces her motorcycle lesbian aesthetic and starts going out on Tinder dates with every single queer person in L.A. After her hookup phase, she moves to Colorado on her hog to focus on her professional fighting career  and hobby of metalworking. She becomes the incredibly cool gay aunt to Carly and Freddie’s children, and ends up living in an all women’s comune where she meets her wife and her girlfriend. 

From an early age I was very drawn to these characters and I never quite understood why. They are very strong, not stereotypically “feminine” presenting female characters and I think as a tween I thought that was because I was like “Yay Go Women.” As an adult, I agree, but also I would like to add just a very hearty “Yay Women!!!” Although not the queer representation gay youth across the globe should have, these character do exhibit qualities that can be identified as queer characteristics, and for me, that was enough to kickstart my thought process in thinking that I didn’t have to “be like other the girls” to be cool or liked or to be accepted in society. Again, although I would love to see more openly queer representation specifically in kid’s media, 10 year old me very much so appreciated the presence of these ambiguously “not typical” female “tomboy” characters…. who were most definitely gay.

Always a non gay tomboy sidekick, never an out main character. Sigh. One day.

Stay tuned for Part 2 with Harper from Wizards of Waverly Place, Miranda from Lizzie McGuire, and Bailey, from The Suite Life on Deck.

Simple and comfy spring and summer Outfit Ideas

By: Lauren Crupi

During quarantine, I have found myself discovering old and new favorites in my closet. I tend to thrift spring and summer items during the fall and winter months, which leaves me to rediscover certain pieces once the weather starts getting warmer. In this post, I will include 7 flirty and comfy outfits to show what I tend to wear during a week in the spring. I find these outfits perfect to recreate and transition into summer wear. 

Black Tank and Denim Shorts

This simple outfit is one of my all time faves. I paired my staple black cami with a pair of mom shorts. Along with this outfit, I included my everyday Coach crossbody bag and black grommet belt. This is my favorite outfit to choose when I claim that I have nothing to wear. It’s easy to assemble and is super versatile. You can leave this look as it is or dress it up with an oversized blazer and some sporty sneakers. 

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Floral Babydoll Dress

A babydoll dress is an essential for your spring wardrobe. This fun and flirty dress is perfect for a date night or to lounge around in all day. Dresses like these are perfect for when you want to appear put together without sacrificing comfort. I paired my Coach bag along with the dress, as well as with my platform black Vans to keep it casual. For a date night, instead of my Vans, I would switch them out for some low heels and add a light cardigan sweater. 

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Graphic Tee and Ripped Jeans

This outfit is my most worn out of all listed. I have found that pairing an oversized tee with ripped jeans to be a cool and casual look. I paired my Rubber Soul Beatles shirt with some thrifted Levi jeans that I distressed at the knee. I put on a pair of orange aviators to further fit the vibe of the outfit. Whether it’s running errands or hanging with friends, this relaxed fit ensures a trendy and stylish look.

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Overalls and a White Tee

Along with these other outfits, I needed to include these Thumper overalls that I thrifted last year. They are made of a woven cotton material that makes them comfortable and breathable. I have also replaced these overalls with denim ones for this look as well. I decided to pair a plain white tee underneath for a layered and put-together look. I would pair this outfit with my Vans and a mini backpack to attack adventures and errands all day.

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Cardigan, Tee, and Shorts

For this outfit, I paired a floral baby tee with a coordinating cashmere cardigan. I paired them with my favorite denim mom shorts and a brown belt. I love this outfit for an everyday look. Depending on the weather the cardigan can stay or go, and the shorts can be changed out for jeans instead. Out of all these outfits, I feel that this one describes my style the most. I love incorporating vintage and modern pieces together for a timeless look.

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Paisley Cami and Cords

This comfy and cute look has gotten me through most of quarantine. I paired this groovy paisley cami with some navy blue tie corduroy pants that I bought at Target a few months ago from the Wild Fable collection. Finding cute and comfortable lounge outfits is sometimes a struggle, so I was pleased when I recognized that these went well together. My slip-on Vans or Birkenstock sandals are my go to footwear for this casual look. 

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Denim Jacket, Tie Dye Tee, and Hot Pink Cords

On a day when I actually feel like “trying”, this is one of the outfits that results. These hot pink Lee cords are one of my favorite thrift finds. They are super fun and bold and perfect for spring and summer. I decided to pair them with my Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia tee and Rolling Stones denim button down shirt. I think this is a good outfit for attending fires and other excursions at night when the air cools a bit. I tend to pair this fit with my Nike Air Force’s and some fun crew socks.

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How I Care for my Curly Hair (2C Curls)

My hair and I have been on quite a journey together. When I was little, my hair was pin-straight, and it slowly just got curlier and curlier the older I got. I have gone through years of hating my hair, trying to straighten it as much as possible. I  even wore wigs. Now, I can happily say that I love my hair and my bouncy, soft curls. Though my hair has been through a lot of bleaching, I feel like it’s still in pretty decent condition, and my curls have held up well. Today I’m going to walk you through how I take care of it on a daily basis, what products I use, and what I don’t recommend if you want to protect your hair. I also want to point out that my hair type is 2C, which equals a loose, barrel-shaped curl. If you have a tighter curl or a different hair pattern/texture, you may need to do something completely different to take care of your curls, so just keep that in mind! Also, I am not a hair care expert or a stylist- this is just what works for me personally.

Easy Hairstyles for Girls with Curly Hair | BeBEAUTIFUL
Artist: Unknown

Like many curly girls, it took me years to figure out that you are NOT supposed to brush your curly hair! Doing so can make it extremely frizzy and ‘pyramid shaped’, as I call it. I always used to worry that if I didn’t brush my hair, it would get tangled and look dirty, but the reality is, my hair actually feels much cleaner and manageable now that I rarely brush it. In fact, the only section of my hair I really brush is my bangs. As long as I wash my hair regularly and use products that are designed to smooth-out my hair and keep it tangle-free, I never have to worry about frizz or knots. 

About twice a week, I will use my purple shampoo and a leave-in conditioner in the shower. The brand of purple shampoo I use is by eva-nyc. So far, I’ve been really impressed by this brand. I love that the shampoo is not only cruelty-free, but affordable and it also smells absolutely amazing. Most importantly, it makes my hair feel soft and manageable. The leave-in conditioner I use is by AG hair, and it is yet another high-quality, amazing-smelling product that I always look forward to using. My hair tends to lack moisture if I don’t take care of it adequately, so these two products together keep my hair feeling extremely hydrated and salon-smooth. 

I have never been a big fan of blow-drying my hair, which has been really beneficial for both my curl pattern and my overall hair health. I’m actually not sure why towel drying works so well, but from a personal standpoint, I absolutely believe my curls look so much prettier and fuller when I wrap my hair in a towel and let the heat soak up the moisture for a few minutes. After I towel off my hair, I just let it air dry for the rest of the day. The products I use on my hair help it to dry much quicker, so I’m going to be talking about those next. 

If I don’t use my leave-in conditioner that day, I will always ALWAYS use the Aveda damage repair treatment in my hair and the Drybar Prep Rally spray. I talk about these products a lot, because I think they’re high-quality and I genuinely think my hair has never looked better. I apply them back-to-back when my hair is still wet, and after that, my hair routine is essentially done! I let my hair air-dry with the products in, and after a couple of hours, my hair is almost completely dry and curly, and it feels so amazing and soft.

Anyway, that’s my very adamant hair care routine for protecting my loose barrel curls. Like I said, I’ve had a pretty rocky hair journey, but I’m really happy with the way it looks now and the quality that I have been able to uphold despite lots of bleaching. I know not everyone is going to be able to go out and buy a bunch of new products for their hair, so whatever your circumstances are, I would say just do the best you can with the resources you have! Remember, you are beautiful no matter what.

I’m turning 23. But it really don’t feel like it

by MJ Sullivan

At this time in the world, this does not feel like the time for the celebration of the 23rd time I’ve revolved around the sun. I was originally looking forward to finally having a birthday I could celebrate: not amidst finals, school, or personal crisis (The universe had other plans). On top of the state of the world, I also personally don’t feel like I’m ready to or should be allowed to be turning 23. In my mind, at 23 you should have things a little bit more settled than I feel I do. However, with the help of some loved ones, I’ve started realizing that I don’t have to have to have it “all figured out” right now, and that I might have accomplished more than I can see or feel. In light of this, here are 23 things I’ve learned, or figured out, in my 23 years on this Earth.

1. You don’t owe anyone anything. Ever. Period.

2. As long as you are safe to do so, be and present yourself as authentically as you can. The amount of emotional and mental freedom you feel when you can truly be yourself is nirvana.

3. Dark chocolate is the supreme chocolate, and black coffee is the ruler of coffee. If it’s the good quality stuff, it doesn’t need sugar or milk to be great.

4. You’re not weird for liking or being interested in the things you like. There are like-minded people out there in the world just waiting for you to discover them who will not just tolerate you, but celebrate you for it. 

5. Sometimes, you have to let go of things or people that are causing you more harm than good. It might take you a while to notice, realize, or accept, but flowers can’t grow in poisoned soil. Cut out anything in your life that is causing you angst or stopping you from growing.

6. You do need sleep and food! Providing your body with the proper amount of energy to function properly actually works. The body craves equilibrium. Everyone’s balance is different, and finding yours may take some time, but it’s worth the time and effort you might put in to find it.

7. The present moment is always going to be “the in-between”. I have had, and still do have, a hard time not idealizing the past or wishing for the future to happen faster; so much so that I forget to enjoy the present until it is the past. Take the time to enjoy the seemingly small moments of your present situation, because someday, you will cherish them.

8. Your entire life is not just middle and high school. Your entire life is not just your hometown, or the first 18 years of your life. When you’re in a place where not everyone gets you, it’s very hard to see that life gets better. The world is so much bigger than one town and has so many people and opportunities. You’re not defined by where you come from but how you progress from it.

9. Everyone can be an asshole. Doesn’t matter age, race, sexuality, gender, religion, etc. It takes all kinds.

10. Nobody in the world is a background character. Every single person you run into has a life: a family, friends, a passion, a career, a personality, and feelings. Your bodega man, your coworker, the person next to you in traffic, your sibling. Everyone comes from such a different background that you will never fully know because you haven’t lived it. Keep this in mind when interacting with people.

11. Take care of the aftercare of your piercings, tattoos, scars, or surgeries. They are alterations to your body and they deserved to be treated with care! Plus, you WILL regret not taking care of them, aesthetically and/or pain-wise.

12. Felt hangers are so much fucking better than plastic ones. They keep every piece of clothing on the hanger and off the floor. Do yourself a favor and invest in some.

13. Education is important, but there are many ways to learn besides through institutionalized education. You are constantly a student of life, and never have to cease your learning due to lack of funding or skill. Go learn guitar from a YouTube tutorial, ask a friend to teach you to drive stick, teach yourself how to paint. The world is your oyster if you’re willing to put in the time and passion.

14. Whatever you’re feeling, there is a song out there to express it.

15. There is almost never a reason to not use a reusable water bottle. Go buy a good one and decrease your carbon footprint.

16. You are not your trauma. You are not your mental illness. These things can manifest to be a huge part of your life or identify, but you do not have to let it become you. These things are a part of you and your life, but you are worth so much more than something that happened to or is happening to you. 

17. Getting better is always worth it. Trust me. Asking for help is always worth it. Trust me.

18. Friends can become your family. Surrounding yourself with supportive, amazing people makes life so much better.

19. Black looks good on everyone.

20. Never, NEVER wait to buy these things: plunger, krazy glue, glasses repair kit, sewing materials, light bulbs, flashlights, toilet paper, toothpaste, charger. By the time you need them, it’ll be too late. Thank me later.

21. It’s never too late or too dumb for you to start something you’re passionate about or interested in. If you want to do something, just fucking do it. What other people think or if “it’s good or not” literally has no bearing on the fact that it makes you happy or it’s fun. Spend more time thinking about your happiness and amusement rather than people’s supposed opinions about you.

22. Always go. If someone asks you to a concert, go. If someone asks you to go to a bar at 1am, go. If you’re invited to a poem reading at a bookstore, go (as long as you are comfortable of course).

23. Although, I’ve learned so much more in my life, I’ll leave you with this: The only constant is change. You can take this in a light way, or a dark way. What’s happening to you right now is not going to be that way forever, but also what’s happening to you right now is not going to be that way forever. Enjoy your happy moments while they are happening, and know that in your worst times, the skies will clear eventually and the sun will peak if not fully shine through.

24. Bonus: Don’t shave your fucking head without thinking about the fact that you have to grow it out, and that it’s gonna look weird sometimes and have its phases. Take it from me.

Happy Birthday to me. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay inside folks.

Trends on a Budget: Building Looks Through Thrifting

Spring is here, which means it’s time for warmer weather, nature walks (from a social distance, of course,) and pastel-toned, floral outfits. Even though I’m not spending any money on things like clothes right now, I still love scrolling through online shops and seeing what trends are on the rise. I especially love browsing ThredUp, which is the world’s largest online thrift store, in order to put together potential outfits and search for rare fashion finds. Secondhand shopping is both extremely beneficial for the environment and cost effective for your wallet. Additionally, with the current health circumstances, online shopping is the perfect way to add to your wardrobe! Today I’m going to walk you through five potential spring outfits I pieced together using ThredUp, explain why they work, and let you in on how much you can save on clothes by thrift shopping. I’d also like to disclaim by saying I am not sponsored or paid by ThredUp: this is genuinely just an app and a service I love. I’m so excited to share it with all of you. 

Side note: I didn’t include links to any of these items, because they are all thrifted goods (meaning there’s only one of everything) and most of these items will be sold within days. If you see something you really like on ThredUp, you better throw it in your cart ASAP before it gets sold!

Look 1: Country + Boho

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Of all the digital outfits I’ve put together on ThredUp, this is definitely one of my favorites. I absolutely adore floral prints, and this sweet v-neck dress is absolutely gorgeous and so vintage! One of my favorite things about spring is having the ability to layer up or layer down outfits, which is why I decided to pair this dress with a jacket. It’s not quite warm enough for flip flops and sandals, so I paired the outfit with some brown booties instead. This outfit because is modern and fresh, but also has an old-fashioned charm, particularly in the shape of the dress and the print. 

Dress: $60 $21.99

Ankle Boots: $189 $48.99

Denim Jacket: $119 $28.99

Shoulder Bag: $398 $91.99

Savings: $574

Look 2: Springy + Fresh

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This outfit could be ideal for a warmer spring day, as the hem is a little bit shorter and the sandals are open-toed. I absolutely love the mixing of prints, especially when there’s color involved, and that’s exactly what this dress celebrates to me. It’s very put-together and dressy, but also casual enough for everyday wear. In my opinion, these colors would also look great on every skin tone, particularly that mustard yellow jacket. If you check out the Pantone Spring/Summer 2020 NYFW colors, you’ll see that several of them appear in this outfit as well.

Dress: $60 $18.99

Jacket: $35 $16.99

Wedges: $89 $20.99

Wallet: $45 $17.99

Savings: $154

Look 3: Classy + Casual

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Okay, I know fedoras aren’t exactly the most celebrated fashion staple, but I think this one looks absolutely adorable when paired with a striped short and some classic corduroys. Horizontal stripes are a great way to make your figure appear slimmer, if that’s something you’re looking for in a garment, and the classic red flats offer a cute pop of color. This outfit is also extremely affordable- you can buy all four of these items for under $60. Just another reason to consider the benefits of thrifting and what it can do for your wallet!

Pullover Sweater: $36 $11.99

Cords: $70 $7.99

Flats: $48 $22.99

Fedora: $24 $13.99

Savings: $121

Look 4: Cute + Formal

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Hopefully, none of us are going out to any parties or events in the midst of a global pandemic, but nonetheless, this is generally just a gorgeous formal outfit that can be easily dressed up or down. First of all, I’m absolutely in love with those heels. I strongly feel that nude pumps or wedges can pair nicely with any outfit or color. The wide belt, similarly to horizontal stripes, can also mimic a slimming illusion in the waste area. I think the print is lovely, the outfit is cohesive, and the asymmetrical shape really adds a sense of interest and uniqueness. 

Dress: $24 $16.99

Wedges: $119 $43.99

Belt: $36 $10.99

Shoulder Bag: $60 $29.99

Savings: $137

Look 5: Punky + Funky

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Lastly but certainly not least, I wanted to put together something a bit edgier and youthful. I really like the way a graphic tee pairs with shorts, and this style of shorts is actually very on-trend right now. Bermuda shorts are also really trendy, so you could alternatively pair a graphic tee with a pair of those as well! Because the top and the leather shorts already have so much going on, I decided to keep the rest of the look simple and just pair it with a simple gold bracelet. It looks effortless and chic, while still giving off some edgy high-fashion energy. I would totally wear this outfit, hands down. 

T Shirt: $13 $10.99

Leather Shorts: $895 $106.99

Heels: $398 $68.99

Bracelet: $25 $11.99

Savings: $1,132

I hope you found this article interesting and informative! I’m not a professional stylist or a fashion guru of any sort, but like I said, I’m really interested in clothing and following trends throughout the year. If you’re looking for new, cheap, sustainable additions to your wardrobe, I highly recommend checking out ThredUp. I promise you won’t be disappointed! Stay safe, everybody.

Yes i smoke weed, no im not a druggie

Written by Abi Brown

*Not an original image

As I sit here relaxing, looking at the beautiful landscape of the forest behind my house on this gorgeous sunny day, I wonder, “Why is everyone always trying to harsh my mellow?” 

Sorry, let’s backtrack. As I sit here, smoking my bowl on the back deck, I wonder, “Is this why my next-door neighbors haven’t called me back to babysit?”

The answer is probably yes. I mean, they have a clear view of the most green and lush smoking spot the world has ever seen, so they have to know I do it. At first, I was upset by this thought, and a little embarrassed. As I continued thinking about it, I realized something and the sorrow built to anger and frustration. 

They won’t call me back because I smoke weed. However, their three kids would love it when I came to babysit, and they said I was their favorite. I have worked at a daycare all through high school and just got another job at one on campus. I’m good at spending time with kids because they are fun and carefree,(like many stoners, may I add.) On top of this experience, I have a 3.5 GPA (it was at a 2.9 last year so I’m proud, okay), worked multiple jobs during the school year, wrote for three different publications, had no disciplinary record, and maintained healthy relationships with my friends and family. They can’t overlook that, though, so they don’t call me back. 

This reminded me of the time I almost got in trouble for smoking weed in my dorm room. The administrative RA (not my floor’s RA, love you Colleen!) saw me from outside. When she came up I hid the paraphernalia but forgot about my incense and candle. She confiscated them and I obviously let her (because let’s be real, getting caught with a candle is way better than being found with drugs). While getting the classic lecture from the RA, she said something that got under my skin, “Do you know how this makes you look?” 




Excuse me? 

To deal with anxiety and all the stress from the workload I take on, I like to share a joint or two with my friends and go for a walk. The pressure of being a student today is unreal; I don’t have to tell you guys. So I really don’t see anything wrong here. The mentality of this RA and the parents I babysat for are perpetuating the stigmatization that we stoners face out here all the time. It’s funny too because these people are self-proclaimed “libertarians” and act like they are better than everyone else because they are well educated and a part of this new way of thinking.  But here they are, acting just like the Man. You can assume all these things about me, but in the end, I am the one being enlightened by how good this weed is and how making assumptions about people is for the ill-minded. All of them could have seen my grades or seen all the work I do, but that wouldn’t stop them from prejudging me as a person. They have limited my worth to a druggie. 

What would they do? I wonder if they found out about Barack? How about Bill Gates? Herodotus? Shakespeare? Or how about good ole’ Abe Lincoln? All these men grew to be extremely influential and are positive role models. If they were forced to limit themselves because people found out they liked a doobie once in a while, where would we be? 

My point is, we need to stop prejudging people. When we send hate into our system, the cycle is perpetuated and goes on and on and on. You give hate, you get hate, it is the way of the universe. This goes further than smoking weed too, we need to have open ears and hearts. We don’t all have to love each other or get along, but deeply-rooted hate has been in our system for too long. Being able to have a good opinionated and educated conversation about our disagreements is how we can get around this pettiness, whether it is smoking weed or any other issue. And when you do encounter that ignorant asshole that refuses to point out anything logical, just know they aren’t worth your time, you can’t fix stupid. So tell them, “Have a good rest of your day,” and move on. 

Keepin’ Busy: Date Ideas for Self-Quarantined Couples

So, it’s pretty indisputable that things suck right now. Several of us are finding ourselves trapped indoors without hobbies, tasks, and most crucially: socialization. I consider myself lucky to be introverted and happily a homebody, yet it’s rough being away from my friends and extended loved ones.

Even though many of us are limited in the things we can do, that doesn’t mean you and your loved ones can’t keep things exciting and fresh (and let’s be realistic, there’s only so much sex you can have together in quarantine before you need some more activities.) These indoors date ideas are coming from my perspective of being in a relationship, but they would be perfect for friend-dates as well. Just remember to keep your social circle small, and don’t let weird people cough on you.

Pot some plants together.

three green assorted plants in white ceramic pots
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

Potting plants is an inexpensive, interactive, and educational activity that you can do right from the comfort of your own home! Especially when you’re stuck at home in quarantine, having the responsibility of keeping a plant alive can be a great motivator to keep you going and give you something to look forward to. I recently just potted some basil, which I have grown before in the past, and I’m eagerly looking forward to watching it sprout and flourish every day. It’s easy, it’s wholesome, and it’s a great activity to do in the comfort of your house.

Take a nature walk.

flock of birds
Photo by Efdal YILDIZ on Pexels.com

If you’re really starting to feel the cabin fever hit, consider going for a nature walk together to get some fresh air and get your feet moving. Obviously, stay away from areas that are populated or full of people, because the point is that we want to stay distanced, but a little nature walk outside is actually recommended by professionals to keep your spirits up during these hard times. I’m lucky to live in New England, where there are tons of woodsy places to visit without people around. Depending on where you live, figure out what works best for your circumstances and lockdown regulations. 

Take a bubble bath. Preferably, a bath full of hand sanitizer, but that’s probably not possible in these trying times.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Just kidding, please don’t waste hand sanitizer. But for real- bubble baths during these trying times is exactly what most of us need right now. Pour yourself a glass of wine, put on some music, chill out in the bath, and try to think about something besides coronavirus for awhile. If there was ever a time for pampering and self-love, it’s now. 

Read books in bed together.

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Photo by Dina Nasyrova on Pexels.com

As the poster child for introversion, reading books in bed is one of my favorite things to do, especially with someone next to me. It’s a sweet, tranquil way to bond and be near each other, but it doesn’t require any conversation (incredible, right?). Currently, I’m rotating between Memoirs of a Geisha, Slaughterhouse Five, and Disappearing Earth to pass the time. Napping together also falls into this category. 

Have a wine-tasting/cocktail-making shindig. 

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Photo by Татьяна Танатова on Pexels.com

No, you shouldn’t be going out to any liquor stores right now, but the good news is you can still buy booze online! Regardless of if you’re with your family, your partner, or even just by yourself, consider hosting your very own wine-tasting/cocktail-making party at home. Come up with some new alcoholic concoctions that you’d never thought about trying before. For bonus points, consider watching something cheesy like America’s Next Top Model or The Bachelor to complete the suburban mom aesthetic. 

Watch Jeopardy! and other feel-good shows. 

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Photo by John-Mark Smith on Pexels.com

This weekend, I learned that my boyfriend is an actual certifiable Jeopardy! legend. Dear God, we probably watched about six hours of that show total over the course of 2 and a half days. That’s probably not everybody’s cup of tea, but for us, trivia shows actually proved to be a great way to pass the time and share some laughs. If Jeopardy! And Family Feud aren’t your thing, switch it up with a binge-worthy show you can both get behind. For fans of thrillers, I highly recommend watching The Keepers or Bates Motel for some thought-provoking discussions together. If you like baking shows, I cannot recommend Sugar Rush and Food Network enough.

Teach each other a new skill or hobby.

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Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Lately, my very small circle and I have shared a lot of hobbies and skills amongst each other, including knitting, puzzles, and cooking. Most of us have endless time right now, so why not pick up a new skill or talent to keep yourselves occupied? If you want to spend 3-5 being fully immersed and frustrated in a new task, I highly suggest trying to learn how to knit. It’s the perfect combination of mental pain and fascination. Another idea is to sign up for an online class together, so that you can both learn a new skill at the same time!

Bake something together.

person holding dough on her hands
Photo by Elly Fairytale on Pexels.com

Keeping with the trend of being extremely wholesome, baking something with your loved one is always a great way to spend quality time together and create something awesome with your hands. I’ve been really into baking muffins right now, but I’m also interested in getting into baking bread. It sort of goes back to the learn-a-new-skill thing; if you’re not very good at baking or cooking, use this time to learn some new, wonderful dishes with your partner.

Last but not least, have a luxurious spa night at home. 

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Photo by Elly Fairytale on Pexels.com

I guess this kind of relates to the bubble bath idea, but why not take it up a notch and have a full-out spa night? You can make face masks, give each other massages, listen to royalty-free spa music, paint your nails, etc, etc. I personally have about a thousand hair and skin products sitting in my bathroom at the moment, so I’m trying to take this self-quarantine time to catch up on self love and beauty. Also, take this opportunity to catch up on rest! Beauty sleep has never been more important. More than anything else, remember to take care of yourself and the vulnerable people around you. If we all practice adequate social distancing and self-quarantining, I think this will all be over sooner than we think. Even moreso, spending more time together indoors while still branching out could be a great bonding experience for you both, and bring you closer than ever.

I think it’s times like this I’ll miss when I’m old.

A stream of consciousness~

The 6 year old “new” car smells of peppermint, as the familiar crack of my mother’s teeth on a mento is followed by the succeeding noise of the paper tube shuffling to let one into my father’s palm.

The punk sounds of my music enter my left ear, while the same classic rock my dad has been listening to for years enters my right. My mom fiddles with the radio to keep him up with the times and lands on the currently popular Lizzo song, as she promptly follows the orders of the lyrics by flipping her hair and checking her nails, and of course, “feeling good as hell.”

My headphones lie cockeyed on my head as I can feel the dull pain of my freshly pierced right ear against the pushed back piece of plastic. My ears ingesting two different things, my eyes gobbling up pages and pages of a book I hated but now am ravenously consuming before my book club meeting on Sunday; out of requirement and because the main character reminds me of my best friend who I miss.

Leaving my brother in state 1 to pack up his main life in a matter of a couple of days, saying goodbye to some people I know he loves very much and won’t see for a while, passing through state 2 where two of my close friends and past roommates live, entering state 3 where I have lived for all almost 23 years of my life. It’s grey out, the only color I can spot as I look up is the potent cerulean blue of the rest stop signs that perfectly match the cover of the book in my lap. When I was little I thought rest stops only existed in other states, because we never needed to visit one on Long Island because we lived there. I thought a lot of things when I was little. I’m realizing a lot of things recently, some good, some funny, some ridiculous. I often express them out loud, and when people don’t identify, it just solidifies my growing thought that everyone has such a unique and ever changing perception of the world.

My mother changes the radio station from an Ariana Grande song to a channel with commercials. It takes my father 30 seconds to realize, as his main focus is and should be on the road. He points out a horse on the fast passing farmland next to us, and I can feel my lips pull apart in a slight smile. My eyes well up as I watch the skinny bare trees wiz past, knowing that I’ll never be in this exact moment again. But then again, that’s the beauty of it, isn’t it?

You’d think people think about the big accomplishments in their lives as their greatest moments. I don’t discount or invalidate that, but there are moments I hold really near and dear to my heart I don’t think everyone would take a second glance at. Sometimes I can feel the wind whipping through my fingers, praying my rings wouldn’t fall off, rain water dripping onto my palm, looking at the cliffs of the Hawaiian landscape. Sometimes I think about the way the skin next to my brother’s eyes crinkle up when he laughs with his whole body instead of just his nose, at something no one else ever would think would merit that, but to him it does. Sometimes I think about my father reading on the living room couch, kindly petting the dog he didn’t want, who has nudged himself so close he might as well be sitting on his lap, and I wonder what stories are unfolding in his head from the words on the page. Sometimes when my mother leaves me a cup of half finished coffee, I think about being wrapped up in our old beige knitted blanket, at 6am, on the old armchair in my parents bedroom, when she would give me a cup of 1 tbsp coffee, 4 tbsp creamer, and I would cherish every drop of her generosity to allow a mere child such a delicacy. Sometimes I think about a moment of clarity I had while my hair was free in the wind of an Oregon highway, thousands of pine trees for the eyes to witness with wonder, thinking if there were that many pine trees there were so many other ways my life could be from how it is now. 

Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” blares in my right brain, and Simple Mind’s “Don’t You” lightly tugs on my left brain’s nostalgia. I put down my tiny lettered phone to pick up my large type book. I think about one of my best friend’s sunny day working remotely in Florida, compared to my grey, many miles day in Massachusetts. I find sometimes, that I long for the opposite of what I currently have. As I push back my chin length hair that annoyingly hangs in my face, I think that although life has a lot of stark contrasts, there are a lot of in betweens. I’m trying to learn to appreciate how long my hair has gotten, from nothing to something, and while it’s great to think about how long it will get, I’m learning to try to love it in the middle. Life would be really really sad if you were only in love with the blacks and the whites, because more often than not, you’re landed somewhere on the grey spectrum. I’m finding that the greys are pretty great too.

-18:13, 3/19/20, in the back of my parents Mazda CX-5, on Merritt Parkway South, in Rye Brook, CT.